my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
