Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
