didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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