surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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