it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
