yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Less talking, more tequila
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
