The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
3pm strippers are depressing
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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