Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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