I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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