There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
