Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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