I accidentally burped into my bong.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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