i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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