Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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