You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he was CRYING into my vagina
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
