i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
