But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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