captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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