I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
