ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
