I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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