even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
