I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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