doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
