That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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