Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
