My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Farmville is her only friend.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
