his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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