Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
