I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
