if i can run in heels then i can drive
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
