Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
how drunk are you?
Several
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
