I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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