planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I believe in your delicious
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
