their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Randomize
