im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
