please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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