NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You ruined the universe
Couch. On fire.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
