my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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