New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Farmville is her only friend.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
A+ Viking dick
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
