he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
