i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
