I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
