i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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