We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
