my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
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Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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