ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
