Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
