giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize