I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The beer is more important than you right now.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
