I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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