She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
