Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
