But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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