It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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