He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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