Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
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she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
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I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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