Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
